What Is a Rule of Life? A Practical Guide
An old Christian discipline for ordinary days: not a list of rules, but a chosen shape for a life of prayer.
A rule of life is a chosen, written pattern of prayer, scripture and practice that shapes how you live. It names the few things you intend to do, regularly and on purpose, so that faith is not left to whatever the day happens to allow.
The word “rule” can sound severe. It comes from the Latin regula, a straight edge or measure, the same root as “regular.” Many people describe a rule as a trellis: something that holds a growing thing up and gives it a shape, rather than a fence that keeps it in.
Where the idea comes from
Christians have written rules of life since the early centuries of the church. Communities of monks and nuns in the deserts of Egypt and Syria gathered around shared patterns of prayer and work, and later writers set those patterns down.
The best known is the Rule of Saint Benedict, written in sixth-century Italy. Benedict called it “a little rule for beginners.” It orders the day around common prayer, reading of scripture, work and rest, and it is famous for its moderation: Benedict hoped to set down “nothing harsh, nothing burdensome.” Many later communities, Catholic, Anglican and Protestant, have drawn on it.
You do not need to live in a monastery to keep a rule. Lay Christians across traditions keep personal rules, and many small groups keep one together.
What goes into a rule of life
Rules differ, but most touch the same parts of life:
- Prayer: when and how you pray: a morning office, a breath prayer, intercession for others.
- Scripture: what you read and how: a daily passage, a lectionary, slow reading with a few others.
- Reflection: a regular look back: what you noticed, where you drifted, what you are grateful for.
- Rest and absence: what you step away from, and when: sabbath, time offline, fasting.
- Relationships and service: the people and work you are committed to.
- Review: how and when the rule itself is revisited.
A good rule is specific enough to keep and humble enough to fail at without giving up. “Pray more” is a hope. “Pray Morning Prayer before work on weekdays” is a rule.
How to write a rule of life with a group
Benedict wrote for a community, and a rule is easier to keep with others. A small group of three to eight people is enough. A simple way to begin:
- Start with what you already do. Name the practices that are already part of your weeks, and build from there rather than from an ideal.
- Choose a few shared practices. Agree on what everyone will keep, for example, a daily reading and a short written reflection.
- Leave room for personal commitments. Each person can name one or two areas where they want to grow, and ask the others to hold them to it kindly.
- Decide how much to take on. A rule can be light, moderate or deep. It is better to keep a light rule faithfully than to abandon a heavy one in the second week.
- Set a time to review it. The seasons of the church year make natural points to look back and adjust.
When a group keeps a rule together, it becomes something close to a covenant: a shared promise, freely made. The guide to covenant discipleship looks at that tradition more closely.
Keeping a rule without turning it into a scoreboard
The aim of a rule is formation, not performance. It is easy to start counting days and to feel that missing one undoes everything. The older tradition is gentler: when you fall short, you begin again. A rule is kept over years, not proved in a week.
That is why many people find streaks and badges unhelpful for spiritual practice. They reward unbroken runs, and they make a missed day feel like failure rather than an ordinary part of a faithful life.
How Ordo helps
Ordo is an iPhone app for keeping a rule of life with a few people. Every group writes its rule together in six parts:
- Scripture: what the group reads.
- Prayer: how and when you pray.
- Reflection: what you write each day.
- Absence: what you step back from.
- Accountability areas: the personal commitments each member names.
- Review: when the group looks back at the rule.
A group can weight its rule light, moderate or deep to suit its tradition. Each day asks three small things: a reflection, a response to the day’s scripture and a short check-in. No one reads anyone’s words until everyone has written. There are no streaks and no notifications telling you you have been away too long.
Ordo is in beta on iPhone. You can join the waitlist to be among the first to try it.
Questions
Is a rule of life the same as a list of rules?
No. The Latin regula means a measure or a guide, closer to a trellis than a fence. A rule of life describes the shape you hope your days will take: prayer, scripture, work, rest, rather than a set of prohibitions.
How long should a rule of life be?
Short enough to remember. Many people find a single page is plenty: a few practices for each part of life, written plainly. A rule that cannot be kept on an ordinary Tuesday is too long.
Should I write a rule of life alone or with others?
Both are possible, but a rule kept with a few others tends to last longer. Monastic rules were written for communities, and shared commitments make honesty and encouragement easier.
How often should a rule of life be reviewed?
Regularly and gently. Many groups review their rule each season of the church year, keeping what helped and letting go of what did not. Ordo builds a review into every rule for that reason.